New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations? Follow Your Gut Instinct!!! Consider Hiring A Private Investigator Experienced In Conducting New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations
New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations could be a major portion of most of a private investigators business in most states. As A Licensed New Jersey Private Investigator I have come to learn that one of life’s most stressful events, hands down is being in a committed relationship and finding out, or even worse yet, suspecting but not really knowing you have a Cheating Spouse and he or she is not committed to you. The feeling of betrayal is enormous; someone you have counted on as being your partner, a partner who you could share your innermost secrets with and the person you lean on for support has now found someone else. The worst part of New Jersey Cheating Spouse investigations is often found to be the lying and deception, which takes place in order that your Cheating Spouse can cover their tracks; it leaves you feeling like a fool. If your gut is telling you something in your relationship is just not right, you suspect your spouse is cheating, more than likely you are right, it is at this point you must consider retaining a New Jersey Private Investigator to find out by securing evidence of the infidelity. Once you have that gut feeling it is important you examine your relationship for any indications your partner is unfaithful, commonly known as the “signs of cheating”.
Through my experience as a New Jersey Private Investigator as well as research I have personally conducted, there are many signs of infidelity that will reveal themselves when your partner is cheating, the victim of such conduct often contacts a New Jersey Private Investigator which often results in the many of the New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations that occur all across the state . You cannot be 100% certain of infidelity just by the existence of one or even a few of the warning signs, however, if these signs of cheating exist you better pay attention. Probably the most significant indicator of infidelity, at least in my opinion, is that gut instinct you get; the suspicion you feel during your partner’s absence, that feeling of queasiness in your belly that your partner is being unfaithful. All of a sudden your wife or husband stops confiding in you or seeking your advice, he or she starts treating you differently. Your spouse starts being evasive when you ask simple questions about their day in work, or even why they had to stay late, I think you get the picture. One thing I learned from my thirty five years working in the police department and my time as a New Jersey Private Investigator is a fact which I cannot overemphasize, the value of paying attention to your “gut instinct”; it does not guarantee that your concerns and suspicions are valid, but it does call for you to investigate further.
Signs Of Cheating In Your Relationship, If You Notice More Than A Few New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations Conducted By A New Jersey Private Investigator Might Be The Way To Go
There are absolute undeniable signs your partner is having sex outside the relationship, such as: You have passed menopause and you find condoms in your husbands possessions or, you have had a vasectomy and you find birth control in your wife’s possessions. Those examples which have been uncovered in many New Jersey Cheating Spouse investigations are are often referred to as “slam dunks”; I want to focus on the more subtle signs your spouse could be cheating, behavior which will more than likely dovetail with your “gut instinct”, ask yourself these questions:
- Has your partner altered established routines at work and/or home for no logical reason or valid explanation?
- Has your partner uncharacteristically become aloof from you as if their mind is distant?
- Has your spouse all of a sudden encouraged you to start having a social life, suggesting you go out with your “friends”?
- Have your partners co-workers began to act strangely around you, possibly seeming to feel uncomfortable in your presence?
- Has your husband begun to delete text messages and/or the phone log on their cell phone? Has your wife suddenly kept her cell phone very close to her, never leaving it more than a few steps away? Does your spouse try and prevent you from handling their cell phone under any and all circumstances?
- Has your spouse begun to use the internet excessively at hours that he/she has never used it before? After internet usage does your spouse clear the history? Are you aware of any new email addresses your significant other has began to use?
- Has your husband or wife all of a sudden began to have interest in a different type of music? Has your wife suddenly become interested in football or some other sport when she had never followed sports before? Has your husband suddenly become a fan of the theatre, opera or museums?
- Has your spouse who has always been a couch potato suddenly become a gym rat? Is your partner all of a sudden dressing better and becoming preoccupied with their appearance, using perfume or cologne when they go out?
- Does your partners car have unexplainable excessive mileage on it, or does his/her car have much less mileage than it should for a long “business” or “hunting” trip they were supposed to have been on? Aside from checking the odometer you might be able to monitor this aspect through gas purchases if they are routinely charged on a credit cards; checking this would be a simple mathematical equation.
- If your married pay close attention to credit card charges, if your spouse is cheating he/she will be very careful not to make a “smoking gun” charge to the credit card but you never know, pay special attention to the “location” of the charge. With this in mind, has your spouse suddenly been making unusually large cash withdrawals from the bank? If so, it begs to be asked, why?
- Has your sex life changed significantly? Has it suddenly become More erotic, different positions or methods? Has your sex life become non-existent? Has your partner suddenly begun to avoid showing you physical affection?
- Has your spouse or partner ever cheated in a prior relationship, perhaps you were the “other person” in the relationship, which your current partner had cheated with prior to entering into your relationship full time? As a veteran of the Jersey City Police Department with over thirty five years experience there is one truism I have discovered over the years; the best predictor of future behavior is a persons past behavior, or stated another way “a leopard doesn’t change his spots”.
Of course, this is not an exclusive list on behavior to be aware of which might indicate your spouse is cheating, but these are many of the common factors that have revealed themselves in multiple New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations; there are many signs you might pick up just by your intimate knowledge of your partners normal behavioral patterns and what may be sudden departure from that normal behavior. One or two of these signs standing alone will not conclusively indicate your spouse or partner is cheating but should certainly awake you to the fact that you need to pay attention. Of course the more different indicators you identify the more likely your gut instinct will be right on, target as found to be by the much of the information uncovered in past New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations.
What Do You Do Once You Suspect Your Partner is Unfaithful? Consult A Private Investigator Experienced In The Conducting Of New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations
When your “gut instincts” are coupled with several “signs” or other evidence your partner is being unfaithful in your relationship, you need to make a decision. Are you going to confront your partner regarding your suspicions? After having done a little research and investigation on their own most people in a relationship will choose confrontation because they feel it is the most logical next step to take. With that being said, as the owner of “Cowan Investigations” a full service private investigation firm which has handled numerous infidelity cases in New Jersey, I cannot tell you how frustrating this first logical step of confrontation becomes after the “significant other” is approached in regard to their partner’s suspicions that he/she is cheating in the relationship and sufficient evidence is not provided to the cheating partner, only that “gut feeling” is offered as proof. I strongly suggest before approaching your partner in order to question them about your suspicions you should have some hard evidence; not just a “gut instinct” or a “feeling” that something is not right. You can either try an obtain this evidence yourself by going through the records of your spouse which you have access to that relate to transactions and/or communications, monitor vehicle use, phone and computer use and keep records where and when your partner is going; try to do all of this without being obvious, all of the previous is the type of information that private investigator will try and uncover in New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations.
I highly recommend that a victim of infidelity does not do their own “on the ground” investigation of an unfaithful partner, there are too many things, which can go wrong. It is dangerous both physically and emotionally for a victim in a cheating relationship to conduct surveillances of their significant other; New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations conducted by a Licensed New Jersey Private Investigator is the best way to proceed if for no other reason than to place a person in the middle who is not effected by emotion.
1- you do not have experience,
2- you are too close to the situation and thus emotional, and.
3- because of this emotion you could become involved in a domestic violence incident if you catch your partner being unfaithful, and
4- in most instances you will not have the surveillance equipment needed.
Consider Consulting a Professional For The Conducting of New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations
Prior to my being retained by a client for New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations I always offer a thirty-minute free consultation in order that the client can discuss with me their options, concerns and expectations should they retain my services as a New Jersey Private Investigator . During this discussion it is important I find out the historical context of the relationship in addition to what exactly is going on and what behavior has raised the suspicions of the aggrieved partner. Invariably the potential client will tell me that he/she had already confronted their partner with either their suspicions or even some hard evidence of the infidelity. The client will often relate to me the defensive positions their suspected cheating partner had taken in order to deflect the accusations. It is beyond imagination on the steps which the cheating partner will take in order to maintain their status quo, i.e. continuing and maintaining the “comfortable relationship” with their “current partner” while being able to “cat around” on the side with their “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, this might be good for the cheater but it is not healthy for the victim of infidelity, this is the behavior that multiple New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations has revealed. Usually the first position for the cheating partner to take is that their spouse is just “imagining it” and/or is “paranoid”, or “crazy”. When that does not work, hang on to your hat; even when confronted with hard evidence a cheating partner will come up with some of the most bizarre stories (lies) to justify their conduct, when I say “bizarre”, I mean real “whoppers”. It has been my experience New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations the more compelling the evidence of their infidelity may be, the more “bizarre” the cheating partners lie will have to be in order to refute the evidence. New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations being conducted by experienced private investigators can often target the best days you may catch a partner cheating, I have attached a link for your information and convenience:
During my initial consultations with clients concerning New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations the clients are often understandably upset and somewhat emotional, after all the prospect of an unfaithful partner is devastating, especially if you did not see it coming. When client brings me up to speed with what is happening they will often tell me the bizarre lies that their cheating partner will have had told them when they had confronted their unfaithful partner with pretty much what I would call evidence “beyond a reasonable doubt”. The thing is, these clients realize how silly and unrealistic their partners stories, excuses and defenses are, but understandably because they are in love they just want to believe the cheating partner and get things back to where they had been before the infidelity began. As the owner of Cowan Investigations and its Primary Private investigator I am in the business to perform a service to be paid, however, I conduct myself the same way I would want to be treated or have my family be treated should we be in such a crisis in our lives. Countless times I have had a potential client who seems to have irrefutable evidence of infidelity and I have told them so; I have told the client I don’t think they need anything more to confirm their suspicions, I will not encourage the client to retain me for New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations when I already think he/she has enough evidence of infidelity, but I certainly understand the client’s decision to retain me to gather additional evidence of the infidelity by the conducting of their New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations. When you are interviewing New Jersey Private Investigators to handle your case be careful not to give identifying information about who you are or the potential target of the investigation might be. There is no reason to provide this type of information until you are comfortable with the private investigator and have decided to retain him or her; be very wary of a private investigator who is pushy in trying to obtain identifying information.
More often than not, the client wants more, the client wants photographs, videos, rendezvous spots where their partner is meeting their lover etc, I think this is just human nature. At the point I am retained to investigate the infidelity case I will treat the client with the utmost respect and dignity while keeping the client informed on a daily basis while treating their case with the utmost confidentiality.
This article is Part #1, of a multi part series on Infidelity in a relationship and what you can do about it in terms of retaining a private investigator experienced in conducting New Jersey Cheating Spouse Investigations. Part #2, will discuss your what the process is when you decide to contact Cowan Investigations to discuss your options.
If you wish to speak with me regarding this article, or if you need a consultation regarding it’s contents please do not hesitate to call me at 732-837-8444, seven days a week 8:00am to 8:00pm.
About the author: Bob Cowan is the owner of Cowan Investigations a full service New Jersey Private Investigations Firm, Bob is the former Chief of the Jersey City Police Department and has 35 years experience as a police officer in New Jersey’s second largest municipality.