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Stop Being Victim Of, Retain A New Jersey Private Investigator To Obtain Evidence by Conducting an Infidelity Investigation?

Betrayal in an intimate relationship occurs when a partner lies to you. Real betrayal occurs when your spouse has a romantic relationship or an isolated physical interlude behind your back Betrayal occurs when your spouse utilizes family funds to fuel the dalliance. Betrayal occurs when your spouse criticizes you habitually, or abuses you mentally or physically. This conduct displayed towards a spouse in what is supposed to be a mutually trusting and loving relationship is extremely hurtful to the person on the receiving end of it. If you recognize this in your relationship consider having a New Jersey Private Investigator Conduct an Infidelity Investigation.

After all, the person you love is the one person in the world you are supposed to be able to trust, why would your spouse treat you like this? What have you done wrong? As a New Jersey Private Investigator many clients I have spoken to tell me that even if they had decided to wring their hands of an unfaithful relationship they were worried that if they were to love again a new partner would treat them the same way. Conversely, during the initial consultation preceding a New Jersey Infidelity Investigation some clients it were only intent on obtaining evidence of the Infidelity and cheating so they could confront their cheating spouse who had been blatantly lying to them. The client’s objective of the Infidelity Investigation was to salvage the relationship by confronting the cheater with proof. Through counseling the client felt the relationship could be saved, this of course would be after evidence was provided by a Private Investigator their spouse had cheated.  This evidence would have to be obtained through a full blown Infidelity Investigation.

If a New Jersey Infidelity Investigation Reveals Your Spouse Is Cheating, How does The Victim React

In my experience in life as well as during my time as a New Jersey Private Investigator I have discovered there are not any right or wrong answers on how to handle the aftermath of a cheating spouse who has been unfaithful by either physically or emotionally cheating on you; the best answer in a relationship in which infidelity is happening is going to be what is best for you; unless of course there are children involved, in which case the children’s interests are paramount. Whether you decide to move on with your life without the cheating spouse or you are determined to give your cheating partner another chance, this is going to be a strictly personal decision.

Of course there are so many different circumstances in a relationship that factor into your ultimate decision on what to do, entanglements such as intertwined finances, common friends, shared work places and even pets that are owned jointly; but of overarching importance is whether or not a couple have children together, the kids must come first. All of these factors and more must be given due consideration in your decision on how to handle the future of your relationship once you determine your spouse or partner has cheated on you, by violating the trust and sanctity of your bond. The best and only decision is going to be what is best for you and/or your children if any.

Deciding To Take The First Step, Hiring a Private Investigator To Conduct A New Jersey Infidelity Investigation

By the time you reached this third paragraph you might be saying to yourself “this guy is a Private Investigator not a psychologist, he is going way beyond the scope of his professional license”!! To that thought, I point to my thirty-five years experience on the Jersey City Police Department, more often than not while working nights, weekends and holidays, I was often the only person that many people in distress were able to talk with. During my time as a police officer like many other officers throughout the country our most important and time consuming job was not “crime fighting” but rather being an active listener for people who for whatever reason needed a sympathetic ear, be it a citizen or even another police officer. I have found throughout my career on the police department if you listen to people and let them tell you their problems as a form of catharsis they will often come to their own rational conclusions that most often result in informed decision making.

As a New Jersey Private Investigator I have taken what I had learned over my thirty-five years of police experience and applied it to the client intake and interview process. During the consultation in a potential infidelity investigation I do much more listening and note taking than talking, I let the client tell me what is going on. Often the client will relate some of the signs of cheating and other indicators which they believe leads them to believe their spouse has been unfaithful.

Another pattern of behavior a victim of cheating should be alert for is certain days of the year a cheating spouse might be involved with the other person in the love triangle.  This would especially be the case when the cheater is involved in a long term love affair, below I have linked to a page which contains information on certain days a cheater may be more likely to cheat.

Empathy And Caring Is Required When Conducting An Infidelity Investigation

In my role as a New Jersey Private Investigator I now have an asset available which I did not have during my many years on the police department. My long time wife Liz is now a partner with me in the investigations business and has worked well while conducting an Infidelity Investigation. Liz has actively been involved as a Private Investigator in not only field investigations but multiple undercover roles all of which turned out successful. On occasion while engaged in consultations with female clients win which there are discussions of an infidelity investigation, I sense the client may feel more comfortable having another woman involved in the conversation. If that is the case I will ask the client if she would mind if Liz joined in on the consultation. Hands down, any consultation Liz had become involved in the client would always become much more relaxed (some would say Liz has a better personality then I do, oh well). In fact, female clients who have retained me to conduct cheating spouse investigations have often spent as much time if not more speaking with Liz as they have with me during a continuing Infidelity Investigation. I cannot overemphasize the benefit of having Liz as a partner, particularly when the matter pertains to an Infidelity Investigation. Very often after we have closed out an infidelity investigation former client’s will call Liz (or she will call them) to bring her up to speed on how they are doing, how their life is going.

Empathy is something Liz has taught me to once again appreciate, very often in police work you can become jaded, because of the pace, the tragedies you are exposed to and a multitude of other reasons; you often do not get the opportunity nor do you have the inclination to go back and check on prior “clients”. It is rewarding to hear from people we had worked for that their lives have moved in a positive direction, and especially good to learn if they attribute our work as Private Investigators at least in part, to the positive outcome. Not that I had never been empathetic as a police officer, but Liz has certainly hit the reset button and showed me the importance and fulfillment you achieve by running our New Jersey Private Investigator firm this way. If I was to state this another way, I would say Cowan Investigations is a family business operated by real people who care, Cowan Investigations is not an intake corporation focusing on spending huge bucks on advertising platforms (much like UBER) farming out its investigations to other investigation firms while taking a 50% cut of fees paid. If you ultimately retain Cowan Investigations, rest assured Bob Cowan is going to manage your case (assisted by his wife Liz) and in most if not all instances Bob will work your case in the field.

Rest assured I bring with me a wealth of experience to our New Jersey Private Investigator Business; I have spent my thirty-five year career working on the streets of Jersey City, most of this time working as a supervisor. If I was not the first officer at the scene of crimes or major incidents I was called to the scene in order to make clear and informed decisions related to all kinds of incidents such as: domestic violence, child custody, child abuse in addition to investigations of shootings, aggravated assaults, robberies, narcotics complaints as well as putting in place surveillance in order to combat and prevent these crimes. As Chief of the Jersey City Police Department I coordinated and assisted in investigations with the following outside agencies: United States Attorney’s Office, Federal Bureau of Investigations, Drug Enforcement Agency, United States Marshall Service and the Hudson County Prosecutors Office.

During Your Initial Consultation You Decide To Proceed With An Infidelity Investigation To Gather Evidence Of Cheating, What Is Next?

As a Private Investigator during the initial consultation with a client regarding a cheating spouse I will have been able to visualize a general overall picture of what is or has been going on in your relationship related to your spouse’s infidelity and cheating by the the suspicious behavior you described. While you had been relating the happenings of infidelity in your relationship during the consultation, I will have been concurrently formulating a plan of action and a strategy for an investigatory tract for the the infidelity investigation. Should I be to retained to conduct an infidelity investigation it will be important I obtain as much information as possible. Despite not yet having possession of all the information needed to begin an infidelity investigation it is often possible to project and predict a trajectory for an infidelity investigation based on the information conveyed in the initial consultation.

The Importance Of the Pre-Interview Prior To The Commencement Of An Infidelity Investigation

Once you decide to retain a New Jersey Private Investigator for your infidelity investigation it will now be important to discuss the fees related to the the infidelity investigation thoroughly so you understand what your expenses will be so you will be able to budget accordingly.  More importantly this is a good time to discuss your expectations of the results that may be achieved in the infidelity investigation. You should be aware from the outset (no intent to be patronizing) that in man infidelity investigation I am not going to be taking photographs or videos of unfaithful couples having sex in a hotel. The gathering of evidence such as this during an infidelity investigation does not occur (at least legally). The only way such evidence such as this would be documented during an infidelity investigation would be if it occurred in a public area. More often than not photos, video and other evidence of conduct that is highly suggestive of infidelity will be obtained during successful infidelity investigation. A successful infidelity investigation will often document behavior such as deception, lying, sneaking around and possibly  public displays of affection.  All of the evidence of cheating obtained during an infidelity investigation should be be secured through the use of legal methods. Your insistence on the use of legal methods during an infidelity investigation will protect you and the New Jersey Private Investigator from any possible legal repercussions.

Moreover, at the time you retain a New Jersey Private Investigator to handle an Infidelity Investigation you will need to gather much more specific information (if feasible) than was originally provided to the investigator during the initial infidelity investigation consultation. In prepping for the infidelity investigation it will be necessary the Private Investigator conduct a detailed interview regarding the subject’s friends, workplace, habits, hobbies and favorite places to go. A good New Jersey Private Investigator will ask for more information than you might expect.  A good interview process preceding an infidelity investigation will always exceed industry standards.  The New Jersey Private Investigator should obtain information such as doctor appointments, therapy appointments, gyms frequented, preferred grocery stores, restaurants etc. The acquiring of this information prior to the initiation of an infidelity investigation surveillance allows for a clear picture of the targets routine. Having this information prior to the commencement of an infidelity investigation helps avoid obtaining this information from the client while the private investigator is out in the field on the active infidelity Investigation. It is extremely important the New Jersey Private Investigator obtain recent photographs of  your spouse and any other relevant individuals you think he/she might be involved with. Additionally, it is important to provide the New Jersey Private Investigator with a detailed description of vehicles the cheater may operate. The information on the vehicles involved should include license plate numbers, make model, existence of damage any stickers that may be displayed, a photograph of these vehicles would be most useful. The providing of as much information as possible will usually result in a more cost effective infidelity investigation.  However, I caution you, until you decide on what New Jersey Private Investigator you retain do not provide identifying information to private investigators. You should only provide information identifying yourself and the Subject you decide it will be that investigator you will hire. The least amount of people who know your business the better, Ronald Reagen said “Trust but verify”

Upon your retention of Cowan Investigations as your New Jersey Private Investigator for a Cheating Spouse Investigation it will be necessary to provide a retainer in order to commence the Infidelity Investigation. All costs associated will be discussed during the consultation and also provided to you in writing. Dependent on your situation, payment can be made by credit card, check or cash; needless to say if the Cheating Spouse being investigated has access to your credit card or checking account records, arrangements for alternate methods of payment will need to be made.


About the author: Bob Cowan is the owner of Cowan Investigations a full service New Jersey Private Investigations Firm, Bob is the former Chief of the Jersey City Police Department and has 35 years experience as a police officer in New Jersey’s second largest municipality.

If you wish to speak with me regarding this article, or if you need a consultation regarding it’s contents please do not hesitate to call me at 732-837-8444, seven days a week 8:00am to 8:00pm.

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